Facing 'hopeless' future, many young Coloradans turn away from having children
Left to right: Kandace Wilkins, Michael Hoshall, Malhia Guzman, Makkila Melton, Alex Miramontes, Kennedy Patti. (Hannah Metzger, Colorado Politics)
Published by Colorado Politics on Aug. 6, 2022.
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When she was a little girl, Malhia Guzman dreamed of having children of her own. Now, at 21 years old, Guzman said she’s almost certain she’ll never have kids.
Guzman’s desires haven’t changed — she still loves and wants children — but she no longer believes she’ll be able to afford them.
Guzman said she works two jobs, but can barely afford her $3,000 per month apartment that she shares with a roommate in Centennial. Living paycheck to paycheck and with the cost of living in Colorado only going up, Guzman called the idea of caring for a child “unfathomable.”
“I feel like I’m grieving,” Guzman said. “I knew I’d have a daughter first and I’ve had her name picked out forever. I feel like I’ve lost a future part of me, lost someone who’s not even alive.”
Guzman is far from the only person whose plans to have children have changed in recent years. More and more people in Colorado — and nationwide — are opting to have children later in life, or not at all.
Colorado’s annual fertility rate — total live births per 1,000 women aged 15 to 44 — hovered at around 60 to 70 births since 1980, peaking at 70.8 births in 2006, according to state data. But the fertility rate has since plummeted, decreasing nearly every year and hitting 52.7 in 2021 at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Colorado’s birth rate — total live births per 1,000 population — has similarly fallen, going from 17.1 in 1980, to 14.9 in 2006, to 10.8 in 2021.
The drop in fertility and birth rates aligns with national trends, though Colorado’s decrease is more substantial. During the peak in 2006, Colorado’s fertility rate stood at 2.3 births above the national average and its birth rate was 0.7 births above. In 2021, Colorado’s fertility and birth rates stood at 3.9 and 0.3 births below the national averages, respectively. This year, Colorado has the eighth lowest fertility rate in the country and is tied for the 12th lowest birth rate, according to World Population Review.
(Hannah Metzger/Colorado Politics)
(Hannah Metzger/Colorado Politics)
The cost of living isn’t the only thing holding young Coloradans back from having kids.
Alex Miramontes, 24, blames the environmental state of the world. Miramontes said climate change and decreasing supplies of water, land and other resources made his decision for him.
"Kids are out of the question,” Miramontes said. “Our world literally will not live long enough for future generations to strive forward. I don’t want kids simply because I can’t guarantee them to have a better life than me.”
Makkila Melton, 24, said she, too, originally planned to have children but has lately been struggling with the prospect. She said recent rising costs and the Supreme Court overturning abortion rights made her question what kind of world she would bring a child into. However, the turning point that made her decide against having kids came in May, when a mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas left 19 children and two teachers dead.
“I would need stability and safety in order to have a kid,” Melton said. “After hearing what happened and the impact it had on a community of color like that, it really had me thinking if I want to have kids in a world where they always have to physically defend themselves and be alert all the time.”
Paulina Siegel, a clinical social worker, said these perspectives are becoming more and more common.
Siegel runs Courageous Paths Counseling in Colorado, specializing in working with Millennial and Generation Z clients ages 15 to 42. She said her clients have long struggled with whether they want children, but she has noticed an increase in young adults vowing against having kids in recent years, particularly since the COVID-19 pandemic began.
“There’s a lot of hopelessness and helplessness around the state of the world,” Siegel said. "I think the combination of politics, environment, mental health, all of these things are interfacing with one another and it's leading to a lot of fear of, ‘Why would I bring a child into this world when the world is a mess?’”
However, Siegel said her clients’ reasons for not wanting children aren’t all doom and gloom. She said many are choosing not to have kids simply because children don’t align with the lifestyle they want to live and younger generations feel less pressured by traditional societal expectations to get married and have kids.
Tess Brigham, a psychotherapist dubbed the “Millennial therapist," agrees, saying her younger clients view having children as more of a conscious choice than their parents did. In addition, Brigham said her clients are more cognizant of whether they’re ready to be parents themselves.
Brigham said many of her younger clients watched their parents struggle to “have it all,” managing careers and families, only to be constantly stressed or burnt out. Now, they’re trying to avoid making the same mistakes, Brigham said.
"There's this feeling of 'I need to get my life together first before I have a child,'” Brigham said. “I see people much more looking at can I provide for this child, feeling like I barely know how to provide for myself. ... I also see clients that feel like to be a parent means I need to be emotionally healthy. So, there's that part of it, feeling like they have to be in a better head space.”
Brigham said most of her young adult clients are planning to delay having children, rather than counting them out altogether.
That’s the case for 30-year-old Michael Hoshall, who said having kids is a “soft plan” for him. Hoshall said he’d love to have kids if the opportunity presents itself, but he feels no rush to do it.
“I have always wanted to have kids and I think I would make a good dad, but I don’t feel like my life will not be complete without kids," Hoshall said. “When I was younger, I didn't know it was an option to not have kids. Now, I am out as gay and what being an adult is has changed. I am not feeling the pressure to have kids anymore. I like the freedom of getting to choose what being an adult looks like.”
People like Hoshall delaying children until later in life could explain the decline in birth and fertility rates in Colorado and nationwide, said Leslie Root, a demographer who researches population dynamics and fertility at the University of Colorado Population Center.
Root said one of the main theories about why the decline is happening is that the U.S. is going through a transition in which younger adults are having children later than older adults did before them. Even if the younger adults end up having the same amount of children, if they have them later in life, it will cause a period of lower birth and fertility rates. Root said this transition has already happened in Europe in the 1990s and early 2000s.
This theory is reflected in the mean age of American women giving birth to their first child rising from between 22.9 and 23.1 from 2002 to 2015 to an all-time high of 27.1 in 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The theory would also account for the many young adults who still enthusiastically plan to have children, such as 31-year-old Jesse Lovette Nickerson.
“Children are still in my plan, I love the idea of having kids,” Lovette Nickerson said. “It's a biological and primordial instinct in every human being and always will be. I can't fathom people who say and think that having kids is detrimental to planet earth and that bringing a child into this world would be wrong.”
Lovette Nickerson said he thinks the deterioration of the nuclear family is leading to more instability for children, but that "we should all be having children if we so choose" to help foster better environments for the next generation.
Kennedy Patti, 23, simply wants to create the same kind of big, happy family that she grew up with.
"I would love to have a big family," Patti said. "I think the state of the world has always been and will always be a worry, but children are very much still in my plan."
If the U.S. is merely going through a transitional period, demographer Root said the birth and fertility rates will eventually begin to rise again, possibly in another 10 or so years. But that is not the only explanation.
Root said the Great Recession from 2007 to 2009 could also help explain the decline in birth and fertility rates. The recession slowed down U.S. immigration and immigrants tend to have higher fertility rates than native-born populations. In addition, many people who entered adulthood during the recession may be displaying permanent behavioral changes, such as prioritizing their careers and postponing or abandoning marriage and children, Root said.
“It’s a puzzle, it's a big mix of things,” Root said. “We can say people are just delaying childbearing. They'll probably end up having two kids by the time they're 45 just like older generations did — but there's a possibility that that's not happening. That there are more people who want to do different things with their lives and are choosing not to have kids or choosing to have fewer kids.”
Kandace Wilkins, 21, said she wants to have kids in the future, but is hesitant because of how she believes the healthcare system treats Black women. Wilkins said she previously worked in a hospital where she witnessed the concerns and physical pains of Black patients be unfairly disregarded.
In 2020, the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 55.3 deaths per 100,000 live births — 2.9 times the rate for white women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
“It’s hard for me to trust that they would tend to me fairly,” Wilkins said. “There’s a lot of things going on in the world right now that don’t make me feel as if my health would be considered when having a child. ... If these issues weren’t issues, I would be more inclined to have kids.”
Kasey Spaeth, 24, already has one baby, but said she does not want another because of the lack of societal support for mothers. Spaeth said she and her husband are both in stable careers, own a house, own two cars and have family close by to help with the baby, but raising their first child has still been a struggle.
Spaeth said expensive child care and subpar maternity leave — in addition to gun violence and the overturning of abortion rights — have led her and her husband to consider moving out of the country if they are to expand their family.
“I didn’t realize how awful people are to mothers with their first kids,” Spaeth said. “I can completely understand why people don’t want to have kids with the lack of support from the government. ... I would definitely not have another kid. I’m very happy with just one."
Colorado lawmakers have begun trying to address some of the issues parents face. This year, lawmakers passed bills to provide 10 hours a week of free preschool for Coloradans the year before kindergarten, eliminate the sales tax on diapers and became the first legislature in the nation to secure paid parental leave for lawmakers.
However, Root with the CU Population Center said these kinds of changes likely won’t affect birth and fertility rates — and don’t need to.
Root said Colorado’s high education rate and easily accessible birth control and abortions likely account for the state’s birth and fertility rates falling below the national average, but Colorado’s high migration rates also protect the state from most of the negative effects of declining birth and fertility rates.
Though Colorado’s birth and fertility rates have been on the decline for more than a decade, the state’s population has continued to increase every year – thanks to people moving from other states and countries. Root said this means Colorado doesn’t have to worry about the economy shrinking or population aging significantly.
“I see Colorado as being in a pretty good position,” Root said. “Migrants make up for slower birth rates, and make up for it a lot faster. If you have a good birth rate, great, but you have to wait 20 years until those kids are actually workers in the economy. So, if you're looking from the economic perspective, it's actually a little better to have a state where prime-age workers are moving from other states, you get that benefit much more quickly."
Though the state is in fine shape, the same can’t be said for the young Coloradans who feel so despondent about their futures that they don’t want to have children.
Lizzie Stacks, 22, hasn't yet made up her mind about having kids. Though she's always wanted children, she said she's felt more and more negatively about it lately. Stacks said countless factors are holding her back, including climate change, wealth inequality and discrimination.
"The thought of raising a kid in this world and country scares me enough for me to put it off or never do it," Stacks said. "It’s super upsetting to think about. ... I want them, I want a family, but I don’t know how I could in the world we live in."
Similarly, for 22-year-old Coree Morgan, it feels as if a perfect storm has come together to stop her from having children. Though she works as a nanny and is great with kids, Morgan said she doesn't feel financially, physically, emotionally or mentally prepared to have children of her own, and doesn't know if she ever will.
Morgan said she barely makes enough money to get by working multiple jobs, is concerned she would not be able to protect her children from the traumas she has experienced and fears the physical and financial hardships that come with pregnancy and childbirth. Her internal struggles combined with external rising costs of living, an expensive healthcare system and changing reproductive rights have left Morgan "terrified" of having children, she said.
"I cannot birth or raise a child in the U.S. right now without feeling a sense of guilt or shame," Morgan said. "I don’t have the tools to ensure them a life of safety, security, authenticity and happiness."
Jim Langley, executive director of St. Raphael Counseling, said he has seen this kind of fear and pessimism in his clinic, as well.
St. Raphael Counseling is a Catholic psychology clinic in Denver that counsels families, individuals and couples across the Front Range. Langley said his clinic first started experiencing an influx of young adult clients who are concerned about having kids back in 2018, and things have only gotten worse since the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
Langley said many young adults are experiencing an identity crisis, all-consumed by anxiety of what the future might bring and unable to focus on anything else. For his Catholic clients, this includes concerns about religious freedoms being restricted, but also universal worries about economics and not being able to afford the house and family they always thought they'd have growing up.
“So many of the people we're seeing right now are coming in almost in an existential crisis, just feeling like the world is ending," Langley said. "Because of that, they're not able to think about investing in family. They're too worried about themselves to think about investing in the future. If you feel like your future is hopeless, you're not going to invest in it."
Langley said finding meaning outside of one's self helps to create a fulfilling life. He recommends people who are struggling focus on developing relationships with other people and getting involved in trying to make the world a better place, no matter how small the contribution.
For those feeling dejected about the future, psychotherapist Brigham also suggests they focus on what they can control to create a better life for themselves, while developing strategies to manage their anxiety.
"If you feel like climate change is the thing that I worry about all the time, then what can you do for climate change? How do you do that and what do you need to do to get that on a larger level?” Brigham said. “Do the things that you can do in your realm. If you're creating a better life for you and everybody else is creating a better life for them, collectively we’re going to get there.”
Siegel with Courageous Paths Counseling said those who feel hopeless should seek professional help to work through those feelings, but also acknowledge that it's okay to struggle during such a turbulent time in history.
“I don't want to lie and say that we're not living with a lot of heartache,” Siegel said. "Yet, I do believe that in every situation, as dark as it may be, we can find the light. If we seek it out and we cultivate it, we can find it."